Life sucks... and so must we...

Fos Strikes Again...

2005-10-25T09:49:00.000-07:00

Why oh why must Fos be such a liar???

Like it isn't bad enough that he is incompetent, friendless and a freak, must he lie too? Where was he when God was giving out virtues?

Probably in the loo, cos you know why...

Today, after having promised all three of us that we are off gardening duties in order to concentrate on the end-of-year party, Fos kept asking us if the plants had been watered yet.

"Aren't we supposed to be off gardening for the next two weeks?" whispered Monitress grumpily to me. I shrugged, unsurprised.

Then Fos came around to my kennel and started bellowing. "Has anyone seen Apple?!!!"

I coughed to indicate that I was -indeed - there and have been so for the past decade. He turned around and asked me:

"Have you watered the plants today? What's your watering schedule for the week like?"

I said: "I have fertiliser duty next Monday for the new tulips. Am doing research on which kind to buy."

"Apart from that?" he asked.

"I've got my share of the end-of-year party to do and also the Novena prayers this Saturday."

"Apart from that?" he insisted.

"Er... I guess apart from ALL of that, I'm doing absolutely nothing, no."

"Then you better start showing some initiative and come up with something to do this week."

**********

Fos was interviewing a new slave today. Poor sod is only 15 and has no idea what he's getting himself into. His name is Rappa and Baby kept raving about him.

"Someone who'll take the heat of us," she declared.

So come interview time, Baby had to sit with them and take notes.

Fos began by drawing his feet up on the table and exposing his putrid slippers to Rappa.

"Why are you here?" he began. Rappa drew himself up and cleared his throat.

"Well, I... er, I want to, to do good work and..."

Fos bristled. "You mean you don't know why you're here?! Let me tell you..."

And off he started on his spiel about what an honour it is to serve him, how he is lord and master of Crazy Train Household and why was Rappa NOT licking his balls yet.

Baby held her breath. Scribble, scribble.

"What kind of experience do you have with manacles and two-prong dildoes?"

Rappa blinked. "Umm, well... that is to say, I've never actually..."

"NEVER????" Fos pounced on Rappa, ripped his liver out with his claws, gnawed on it a few times and stuck it back in.

Baby nodded sagely. Scribble, scribble.

Rappa sat on his stool, frozen. Then a few minutes later, he let out a long, wheezing breath and hacked a few times.

"So, am I hired?"

Strawberry Daiquiri

2005-10-24T09:01:00.000-07:00

What Monitress and I had at the party. Baby had a Heineken, straight from the bottle. She got a little drunk at one point...

The Sun Will Come Out... Tomorrow!

2005-10-24T08:41:00.000-07:00

Ok, last week was beyond horrible but part of me is beginning to feel sane again, just about.

Last Tuesday the nightmare began. Fos accused me of not cleaning his spittoon properly and when I said I thought it was Monitress' turn, he went ballistic on me, accusing me of talking back and wanting to take over his position in our so-called family!

Then on Wednesday and Thursday, he took especial delight in giving me horrendous chores and then picking on every single thing that I do. It doesn't help that he has taken to loaning out us slaves to his best friends and business partners, especially Springbuck (who is a sycophant, if you ask me). It was my week to do marketing too, so I was running around like a headless chicken (and NAKED).

All of a sudden, he took a fancy to having a party on Saturday night. A party! Like what kind of cause do we have for celebration???? Monitress, Baby and I were in two minds about this party, but of course we had to go and watch Fos belch all over the place. We did get to excuse ourselves after about two hours, though.

Then by a stroke of luck, we managed to get access to the kitchen, so we raided the fridge. Mortimer, Fos's slave from the next room, joined us and we had a nice cup of tea together and spent all night bitching about Fos.

At least the worst is over. There won't be as much for us to do now that full moon is approaching and the Mehmuta calender year is over. But Fos says he has several new projects for us in store. I certainly don't like the sound of that...

Yesterday, Monitress, Baby and I sneaked out for two hours to a party in town. It was risky but we managed to drug Fos's mouthwash. We met some nice people. Hopefully we'll get to meet them again.

More Cake

2005-10-13T10:36:00.000-07:00

You won't admit you love me.
And so how am I ever to know?
You only tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
A million times I ask you,
And then I ask you over again.
You only answer
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

If you can't make your mind up,
We'll never get started.
And I don't wanna wind up
Being parted, broken-hearted.
So if you really love me,
Say yes.
But if you don't, dear, confess.
And please don't tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Yuck It Up

2005-10-13T09:45:00.000-07:00

Got cake? Fosvomited.

Tired, do I really have to pee here?

2005-10-13T02:09:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired. What happened last night? Fos sent me on a wild goose chase - yes, even in this basement - which led to the Ariotcips taking the film from my body. I was so frustrated but how is any of this new? Why do I persist in being surprised?

Tonight - for isn't it always night here - I've finished my work at last and sent it up to Fos. He hasn't read it yet. And so I sit here, waiting. I'm so tired, but where is there to pee?

The slaves! Where have you all been? Where is Monitress? There is some cake left on the floor.

Lookee here

2005-10-12T10:37:00.000-07:00

These are the good days.

Baby's in the Basement

2005-10-12T07:37:00.000-07:00

Baby (that's me) with her wannabe-blonde hair is in the basement, but at least fos isn't feasting. Not on me anyway.
Of course, that's cuz fos is making me work: I'm cleaning his teeth, both sets! for Monday, and I think it's only because I've been working (keeping my nose to the incisors) that I've largely avoid his spit, oh the venomous.
Poor slaves!
Poor slaves!
Baby has to get the onions tomorrow, or fos will be sure to gnaw on my fingers.

Life, The Universe and how it's all fucked...

2005-10-12T07:06:00.000-07:00

It's the three of us in the basement again. I thought that things would be better after Baby joined us but of late, HE hasbeen targeting me to abuse. It was all about verbal humilliation today. As if it's not enough that we're shackled naked in the damp, smelly, basement all day. He brings out the whips and chains sometimes and drags us upstairs to either put on a show for his friends (in which case he dresses us up in skimpy clothing... Monitress gets the nicest stuff or at least the first pick) or he'll take us to his bedroom for a private flogging session.

Who is He? He is Fos, the sun that all three of us are forced to revolve around. And he definitely gets off on it. Of course he'd say that he hates this part of him, that he does it because we deserve the punishment. But we know better. We might just be his sex slaves but we're not dumb blondes. Except Baby, who's just almost blonde. Or tried to be.

But back to today. It was definitely Torture Apple Day. Not only did he make me pose in a variety of indecent positions, he made me have lunch in the dog-house at dinnertime. And just when I thought it was all over, he suprised me my drenching my entire body with ice-cold slush from the sidewalk in front of the house. Yippie-yi-ay, what a great end to a fucking day.

At least I have Monitress and Baby to keep the heat off sometimes. We wish that we were stronger, braver, more powerful, less unlucky. It seems like all of us were born under ill-fated stars that aren't shooting too high and not shining very brightly.

Definitely not right now.